So you think you’re a badass biker, huh? Well, if your sorry excuse for bike headlights ain’t cutting it anymore, I got just the solution for ya. Forget about those fancy-pants store-bought lights that cost an arm and a leg. We’re gonna make some janky-ass hi-low beam headlights using nothing but junk from the hardware store.
The Shittiest Headlight Setup Ever
First things first, head on down to your local hardware store and grab yourself a couple of cheap-ass flashlights. None of that high-quality shit – we want something that’s gonna break after one ride. While you’re there, pick up some duct tape because let’s face it, this whole setup is gonna be held together by duct tape and prayers.
Now here comes the fun part: take those flashlights and attach them to your handlebars with said duct tape. Don’t worry about alignment or anything like that – we don’t give two shits about precision here. Just slap ’em on there any which way you can manage.
A Beam So Weak It’ll Make You Cry
You might be thinking, “Hey genius, how are these pathetic excuses for headlights gonna light up my path?” Well buddy, they won’t. These babies will barely illuminate anything beyond three inches in front of your tire. But hey, who needs visibility when you’ve got balls of steel?
If by some miracle these dim-ass lights actually work for more than five minutes without falling off or dying completely (which they probably won’t), get ready to blind every poor soul unfortunate enough to cross paths with you on the road.
Ride at Your Own Damn Risk
Now that you’ve rigged up your sorry excuse for headlights, it’s time to hit the road. But let me tell ya, riding with these janky-ass lights is like playing Russian roulette with your life. You’ll be lucky if you make it home in one piece.
So go ahead, my brave and foolish friend. Strap on those half-assed bike headlights and ride into the night like the dumbass renegade you are. Just don’t come crying to me when you end up face-first in a ditch because you couldn’t see shit.
In Conclusion: Don’t Be an Idiot
If this article hasn’t made it abundantly clear already, let me spell it out for ya: making your own hi-low beam bike headlights from hardware store parts is a terrible idea. It’s dangerous, unreliable, and just plain stupid.
If you value your safety (and maybe even your life), do yourself a favor and invest in some proper bike lights that actually work. Trust me, they’re worth every damn penny.
